Baatile20

In continuation…. So here I was, just under 10 having to deal with a broken family that I still couldn’t stick together. You question your birth when you see your parents arguing. “Would they still be arguing if I wasn’t born”, these are actual normal questions more especially if you the only child and have no sibling to share the experience(s) with. It’s quite tricky, one minute I wanted siblings some days I didn’t. There is a saying I once heard “somethings should stay in the bedroom” and in this instinct, I WISH THAT HAPPENED. It was rather awkward at times because I had no idea what the argument was about, I think that’s why I always wanted to study Psychology (even though it didn’t happen) but I feel like I have psychology skills within me. I wanted to work around the human brain, to see and analyse how thoughts form in somebody’s mind. Where do you look when they suddenly throw tantrums at each other, smile? wave? Was I supposed to run to my mother? my father? What was ...

It was only later in life when I understood what FIGHTING really meant, according to the dictionary fighting means ‘to take part in a violent struggle involving the exchange of physical blows or the use of weapons’. I witnessed my parents fight verbally and physically without telling anyone in my family. I didn’t think it was my place to even do so because the way it happened so much if felt normal. I remember I asked my mom “why does my dad hit you so much”? and she couldn’t answer me. All she said was “your dad loves you okay” and that is how I stopped questioning and just observed and kept it all to myself. I had many distractions, friends and church school activities so I had no time to obsess over their fights. Even if I obsessed about who do I run too? Who would believe me? Who would take my side? Who do I even tell? I think when you a child you have no say in many things that happens between you and your parents. I was just too scared to even find someone for them to intervene i...