Skip to main content

Dear Parents: Taking Sides :)


In continuation….

So here I was, just under 10 having to deal with a broken family that I still couldn’t stick together. You question your birth when you see your parents arguing. “Would they still be arguing if I wasn’t born”, these are actual normal questions more especially if you the only child and have no sibling to share the experience(s) with. It’s quite tricky, one minute I wanted siblings some days I didn’t.

There is a saying I once heard “somethings should stay in the bedroom” and in this instinct, I WISH THAT HAPPENED. It was rather awkward at times because I had no idea what the argument was about, I think that’s why I always wanted to study Psychology (even though it didn’t happen) but I feel like I have psychology skills within me. I wanted to work around the human brain, to see and analyse how thoughts form in somebody’s mind. Where do you look when they suddenly throw tantrums at each other, smile? wave? Was I supposed to run to my mother? my father? What was I supposed to do? Whose side should I have been on? It’s funny now, but it was sad when all of this was happening in front of me. Don’t get me wrong, I loved both I just didn’t like them when they were fighting. Maybe I should've written them a letter explaining to them how I really felt about their fights and them FORCING ME TO TAKE SIDES.

I don’t think parents know how much seeing them fight and argue hurts. It makes us feel very guilty. As much as they say, “it’s not your fault”, that doesn’t make us feel at ease we believe its our fault. I know no family is perfect, I SAW WITH MY PARENTS. And it’s only now I understand that term and they are gone so I had to try and shift my thinking of what I used to see in a positive way, by reaching out to a child that feels broken and is caught in between. That child that feels guilty about his/her parent’s everyday fights and arguments. The child that has no idea who to side with. It sucks, I know!

When I become a parent one day, That's a big maybe still. I will use my parents mistakes as a lesson. Remember I said nobody is perfect, but their mistakes will be my foundation phase of how I wouldn't want my child/ren to feel.

Comments

  1. Alfred AvinaFebruary 25, 2020 at 4:01 AM

    The article is so appealing. You should read this article before choosing the Big data engineering automation you want to learn.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

An experience I will never forget :)

I was fortunate enough like I mentioned in my previous post, the opportunity to participate in an exchange program for a year 2016/17 called Community College Initiative Program. In my life, I never imagined myself flying all the way to the United States of America, more especially to LIVE there. I am about to share my experience and what I got up to throughout the year. When I received my flight ticket, I was in the car with my Granny, Aunt and Cousins. It had said 15 July 2016 was the day I will be leaving South Africa, my friends and family. The day I will be wearing my ‘big girl panties’ and being an adult with responsibilities. The packing was half way done, buying all necessary items bit by bit, but the flight ticket made it surreal. That was when I told myself “Girl, there is no turning back you about to change your life”. It was nerve racking because remember, I don’t know nobody in the US and I am leaving all by myself (even though I made a friend whom I will be tr
Post a Comment
Read more

A phone call that changed my life :)

“Don’t you want to Study abroad”? Is the question that changed EVERYTHING. I hesitated with my “YES” answer and honestly speaking I was not thinking clear about it at all but I left it all in God’s hands. It was 2014, I was introduced to Community College Initiative Program CCIP) funded by the Department of State. All I knew was that RAYAC (church organization for young adults in AME) was telling us about it. During that year we attended a workshop, which was explaining more about the program; all the requirements, what is needed etc. But we arrived very late, so I didn’t really get much information. Community College Initiative (CCI) Program is administered by the Community College Consortium. CCI candidates are nominated for participation by the Public Affairs Section of the U.S. Embassy or the Fulbright Commission in eligible countries.   November 2015, same question “Don’t you want to Study abroad in America”? This time, my answer was totally different to the previ
Post a Comment
Read more