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I was not designed to give up :)


Imagine getting to grade 12 (Matric) and still not know what you want to study in Varsity, I think that’s one of the worst nightmare. It feels like your life is not in order, or you just feel pretty much useless.
In grade 10, we had to choose subjects and I chose very random subjects; Accounting, Tourism and Life Science. They were not bad in grade 10, but I felt the Accounting pressure in grade 11 all I wanted to do was to QUIT accounting. By the end of grade 11, I had made up my mind that in grade 12, I will not carry on with Accounting no ways! I was given the opportunity to change Accounting for Business Studies. I enjoyed it, even though it was just for a year. During that year, 2009 I was really thinking about my future and what do I want to study in Varsity and I wanted to study Psychology. I wanted to be a Psychologist because I wanted to work with people’s mindset and to help people. I felt from my past, I knew that wild be an advantage. I had a fantastic opportunity to job shadow a Psychologist who was then in Diepkloof. She was the best, she made that two-day experience feel like I want to immediately be a Psychologist. It felt like something I would really love to do, despite the challenges but I gracefully enjoyed the job shadowing.
Throughout grade 11 and 12 I had to search for a Varsity that would accommodate my future career, and the only one that came to mind was University of Johannesburg it was near home, convenient and affordable. It was so overwhelming applying for Varsity, I couldn’t handle it at all. I went back and forth with my Aunt who was with me from the beginning. I got rejected to study Psychology and that was when I shut down. I was torn inside, I couldn’t deal. And I had to decide on another plan right there. We drove to Rosebank College in Braamfontein, and I decided to study Journalism. It was also one of the things I loved, writing so it wasn’t out of my dream goals even though I wanted to study Psychology, but I eventually settled for Journalism. First year wasn’t so bad, I got a few good grades and one-night mare mark MEDIA STUDIES. I had to repeat it because it was clearly not my cup of tea. I went on to second year with a first-year subject that I had to repeat. Before I go into deep, let me tell you about my turn over year 2012. It was one crazy year, I was crazy, I went crazy, I was CRAZY. I went out a lot, neglected my school work, I started not to care anymore. I was going through a phase I still can’t describe it at all. And I failed my second year like crazy and I didn’t know how to tell my family. Where do I even begin to explain “WHY DID I FAIL”? I didn’t have a valid reason. I wanted to dig a hole and just hide, I don’t know for how long though. Anyways, I had to suck it all up and be honest to them about my grades, that I failed most of my subjects. I was meant to graduate that year and I couldn’t. When I told my Aunt and Granny I was so scared oh my goodness, I am quite sure I was not breathing the way I was so scared to tell them. They didn’t shout but their silent was loud enough and my Aunt gave me two options if she should stop paying my fees or if will I pull up my socks and take school seriously. From that day onwards, I took everything I do seriously because I don’t know what the future held. The following year I kicked my grades (remember I still had first year subjects), so I had divided them for the next two years. It was hard very, but I pushed myself harder and harder remembering the sacrifices Aunt and Granny did for me. By the end of 2014 I was done and passed all my subjects, and getting ready for graduations 2015, May. It took a while to believe that I was done, because the last 4 years was crazy, and I never thought I would finish. I really thought I was going to drop out, varsity is hard even though you are studying something you love, it is still a lot of hard-work but all worth it in the end. 9 Mat 2015, I walked down the stage Isle at the Wits Auditorium to receive my diploma. I made sure my Aunt and Granny sit where I would see them while walking because I don’t know what I would’ve been without them. It was great feeling to pat myself on the back to say, “Well Done Girl, You did it”! After receiving my Diploma, I still had to pinch myself.
A year went by and I was working, and I still wanted to go back to school. But due to funds, I couldn’t that year, so I carried on with work. Adult life was not for the feint hearted indeed. Working made me so aware that I am growing and bit by bit I am forced to face adult responsibilities. It wasn’t that bad though, first real job and first serious salary. Just before I finished my contract, I received and opportunity to further my studies. I grabbed it with both hands, as much as it was way out of my comfort zone in another Country I still grabbed the opportunity with both arms. It was very nerve racking, but I knew I’d kill it. As soon as I stepped foot in all my classes, I had my A game on. I nailed it with disbelief too. Studying at Scottsdale Community College was one of the greatest experiences of my life, it is something I will forever cherish. With being from a foreign country I think I did well for myself and country. It was very challenging in the beginning, trying to understand all the techniques, submissions and everything else. I got used to it in a snap. In my head I only thought we would be Graduating for our CCI Program (mentioned in my previous blogs), little did I know Business students will graduating with the rest of the school. I was very excited, graduating in the United States of America was something I never dreamt of, but only God knows what He has been planning for me. It was so surreal, May 11, 2017 was magical. I wished someone in my family came to see me walking down my second graduations and receiving my certificate. I remember tearing up, tears of joy of course. I was happy that “I DID IT AGAIN”.

I am not done with international Studies just by the way. God knows what’s the next step. It was just the beginning of greatness that God has for me. I will forever be thankful and appreciative for everything that God has granted me.

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