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What Keeps Me Going :)



It was a Monday evening March 26th, 2012 I took an oath that God will be the King of My heart, A Father and my sense of comfort. I was with Prayer Warriors at church and they prayed for me so much that day it was the beginning of my born-again journey.

A few months after my mother’s death, I stopped going to church. I was so angry at God, I didn’t want anything to do with Him. I was that grandchild that used to attend church during Easter only, so that was once a year and for many years I did that. I never prayed, I never read the Bible, but I knew one scripture that got stuck with me till today John 3:16 “For God loved the world so much that He gave His Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him may not die but have eternal life”. I believed God existed, but I didn’t understand why would He take my mother away from me, why would He hurt me so much, did He enjoy seeing me cry at her funeral day. I was very angry, I couldn’t even describe the feeling to anyone. Years went by and I lived in my own world, that world of darkness. Until March 26th, 2012 I realized I lived in a fairytale life and that was when God said “come back to me my child I will save you”. I remember that day so well, a day I will never ever forget in my life. Yesterday was my 6th year as a born-again Christian, so proud of myself and all the obstacles I have come across all these years. Challenges that make me strong, confident and observant; I appreciate them.

Many things had to change after the promise and the oath I took upon following Jesus Christ. I had to change my attitude, thinking capacity, my path, friends to name a few. And I did loose friends throughout this journey, and I met friends of substance and value. It was very hard, walking in Faith is not for the feint hearted but I knew I was save. I learned how to pray Matthew 6:9 “Our Father in Heaven…”, I learned it in understanding! I attended Bible Study every Wednesday from that day, I never wanted to miss it. I learned about the Bible, I made sure I was well equipped because I didn’t want to go back to my dark life that was promising me things of the world. I wanted to have peace in my heart and soul and I tuned into Ephesians 6:10-20 “The Whole Armour of God”. I became super active at church, I gave my spiritual talents to my church W.M Ndlazi Memorial Temple so, I needed God’s protection 24/7 because I know somewhere along the journey I would be tempted to go back to my past life. I did get tempted, many occasions but I always reminded myself who God is to me. I also prayed for someone whom I can also run to when I had my confusion moments and I thank God, I found her, six years of Blessings. She taught me this quote “The bigger the problem, the bigger the Blessing”, and it made perfect sense in my life. 

My family kept me going, they supported me in everything I wanted to do e.g. Violin (very performance they were there) and school they always made sure I don’t feel the void of not having parents. Every holiday I would be with my cousins and those where the best childhood memories. I appreciate each one of them so much as I will make them proud. What I love about God, whatever you ask for He gives you something way better. When I started my born-again journey, I asked Him to reshuffle my friends because during this I needed the right friends. And He did more than that, I lost a lot of friends. That was when I realized I am getting matured now! I was and still am far from perfection but in everything I do I remember where I come from “when I remember what the Lord has done, I will never go back anymore”, songs I sing to push myself forward and not backwards. I am who I am today because of God’s Love. I know that in everything one goes through it’s a breakthrough for someone else that you will be telling about the experience or hardship you faced hence we ought to TESTIFY. We not going through obstacles for our own being, we go through them because we share and motivate the next person. There is a song I sing that kept/keeps me going, something about this song that heals my soul completely. “Pula Tsa Lehlohonolo”. Each time its sung, I feel like I am being cleansed once more. I am yet reminded about how much God Loved/Loves me.

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