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Dear Parents: Taking Sides :)

In continuation…. So here I was, just under 10 having to deal with a broken family that I still couldn’t stick together. You question your birth when you see your parents arguing. “Would they still be arguing if I wasn’t born”, these are actual normal questions more especially if you the only child and have no sibling to share the experience(s) with. It’s quite tricky, one minute I wanted siblings some days I didn’t. There is a saying I once heard “somethings should stay in the bedroom” and in this instinct, I WISH THAT HAPPENED. It was rather awkward at times because I had no idea what the argument was about, I think that’s why I always wanted to study Psychology (even though it didn’t happen) but I feel like I have psychology skills within me. I wanted to work around the human brain, to see and analyse how thoughts form in somebody’s mind. Where do you look when they suddenly throw tantrums at each other, smile? wave? Was I supposed to run to my mother? my father? What was
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Dear Parents : Fights and Arguments

It was only later in life when I understood what FIGHTING really meant, according to the dictionary fighting means ‘to take part in a violent struggle involving the exchange of physical blows or the use of weapons’. I witnessed my parents fight verbally and physically without telling anyone in my family. I didn’t think it was my place to even do so because the way it happened so much if felt normal. I remember I asked my mom “why does my dad hit you so much”? and she couldn’t answer me. All she said was “your dad loves you okay” and that is how I stopped questioning and just observed and kept it all to myself. I had many distractions, friends and church school activities so I had no time to obsess over their fights. Even if I obsessed about who do I run too? Who would believe me? Who would take my side? Who do I even tell? I think when you a child you have no say in many things that happens between you and your parents. I was just too scared to even find someone for them to intervene i
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What Keeps Me Going :)

It was a Monday evening March 26 th , 2012 I took an oath that God will be the King of My heart, A Father and my sense of comfort. I was with Prayer Warriors at church and they prayed for me so much that day it was the beginning of my born-again journey. A few months after my mother’s death, I stopped going to church. I was so angry at God, I didn’t want anything to do with Him. I was that grandchild that used to attend church during Easter only, so that was once a year and for many years I did that. I never prayed, I never read the Bible, but I knew one scripture that got stuck with me till today John 3:16 “For God loved the world so much that He gave His Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him may not die but have eternal life”. I believed God existed, but I didn’t understand why would He take my mother away from me, why would He hurt me so much, did He enjoy seeing me cry at her funeral day. I was very angry, I couldn’t even describe the feeling to anyone. Years wen
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I was not designed to give up :)

Imagine getting to grade 12 (Matric) and still not know what you want to study in Varsity, I think that’s one of the worst nightmare. It feels like your life is not in order, or you just feel pretty much useless. In grade 10, we had to choose subjects and I chose very random subjects; Accounting, Tourism and Life Science. They were not bad in grade 10, but I felt the Accounting pressure in grade 11 all I wanted to do was to QUIT accounting. By the end of grade 11, I had made up my mind that in grade 12, I will not carry on with Accounting no ways! I was given the opportunity to change Accounting for Business Studies. I enjoyed it, even though it was just for a year. During that year, 2009 I was really thinking about my future and what do I want to study in Varsity and I wanted to study Psychology. I wanted to be a Psychologist because I wanted to work with people’s mindset and to help people. I felt from my past, I knew that wild be an advantage. I had a fantastic opportunity to
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It was love at first sight, Host Families :)

I only knew what ‘Host Family’ was when I was in the process to departure for Arizona, USA. In my head I didn’t really understand what their role was until I communicated with my coordinator Megan Young. She introduced me and simply explained what I should expect from them. But for me, I had two so that confused me to the core hahahaha! The cool thing was I communicated with both them via email, so I was kind of used to them in a way. I knew who is who because we also exchanged pictures of their family and mine too. I remember their questionnaire asking what is it that I liked eating and I said JUNK FOOD. I had no time to eat healthy in America, I wanted to indulge in all the burgers that I have been seeing on the internet and Instagram. The first family I met was Cindy and Scott Gemberling, like I mentioned in my previous blog post they picked me up the airport. Remember the HEAT? I was with them when I discovered that. After we left the airport we went to buy food, I said JU
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An experience I will never forget :)

I was fortunate enough like I mentioned in my previous post, the opportunity to participate in an exchange program for a year 2016/17 called Community College Initiative Program. In my life, I never imagined myself flying all the way to the United States of America, more especially to LIVE there. I am about to share my experience and what I got up to throughout the year. When I received my flight ticket, I was in the car with my Granny, Aunt and Cousins. It had said 15 July 2016 was the day I will be leaving South Africa, my friends and family. The day I will be wearing my ‘big girl panties’ and being an adult with responsibilities. The packing was half way done, buying all necessary items bit by bit, but the flight ticket made it surreal. That was when I told myself “Girl, there is no turning back you about to change your life”. It was nerve racking because remember, I don’t know nobody in the US and I am leaving all by myself (even though I made a friend whom I will be tr
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A phone call that changed my life :)

“Don’t you want to Study abroad”? Is the question that changed EVERYTHING. I hesitated with my “YES” answer and honestly speaking I was not thinking clear about it at all but I left it all in God’s hands. It was 2014, I was introduced to Community College Initiative Program CCIP) funded by the Department of State. All I knew was that RAYAC (church organization for young adults in AME) was telling us about it. During that year we attended a workshop, which was explaining more about the program; all the requirements, what is needed etc. But we arrived very late, so I didn’t really get much information. Community College Initiative (CCI) Program is administered by the Community College Consortium. CCI candidates are nominated for participation by the Public Affairs Section of the U.S. Embassy or the Fulbright Commission in eligible countries.   November 2015, same question “Don’t you want to Study abroad in America”? This time, my answer was totally different to the previ
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