“Don’t you want to Study abroad”? Is the question that changed EVERYTHING. I hesitated with my “YES” answer and honestly speaking I was not thinking clear about it at all but I left it all in God’s hands.
It was 2014, I was introduced to Community College
Initiative Program CCIP) funded by the Department of State. All
I knew was that RAYAC (church organization for young adults in AME) was telling
us about it. During that year we attended a workshop, which was explaining more
about the program; all the requirements, what is needed etc. But we arrived
very late, so I didn’t really get much information. Community College
Initiative (CCI) Program is administered by the Community College Consortium.
CCI candidates are nominated for participation by the Public Affairs Section of
the U.S. Embassy or the Fulbright Commission in eligible countries.
November 2015, same question “Don’t you want to Study abroad
in America”? This time, my answer was totally different to the previous year
and here is why. When we went to the 2014 Workshop, I was very intimidated by
the crowd that was there, I immediately told myself that “nope, I will not
qualify. I am not the type they would be looking for”, so since that day I was
very unhesitant to apply for such programs. So, when I answered I was very
doubtful about. When the applications were out mid-November 2015, I asked for
them. I told my family in passing, but I am sure none of us took what I said
into consideration. Because I had many doubts, and so much fear; I made sure I
get help throughout the process of applying. I sat down with Koke, communicated
through email with Thabang, communicated via whatsapp with Rev Makhubo even
with three people helping me I still did not believe in myself. My Reference
was Dr. Rev Phakoe, she said a prayer for my application. Fast forward to the
DUE DATE, December 11, 2015…. I was scared, I doubled, tripled checked every
single detail to check if was it correct. While I was a applying I remember
having just a little conversation with God ‘Let your will be DONE’. During
those December holidays, I had moments where I was thinking about the
application; was it good enough? Is it what they expected? I think I was losing
it a bit. I didn’t talk about it to anybody, I just kept it a little secret;
only a handful knew about the process.
I remember at work I was logging into my emails January 7th,
2016 “Dear Kgothatso, Thank you for applying for the Community College
Initiative Program. We would like to invite you for an interview as the next
step in the process”. I froze and read that email more than twice. I could not
believe what I was seeing. I was not sure if should I be scared, excited, cry
hahaha. I really did not understand what was happening to myself. From that
email, I started to take it seriously. Preparing for this interview was
stressful; because I don’t like interviews I was in total panic mode. I got a
lot of support, people telling me “don’t worry you going to nail it”. Of
course, they had to say such good words LOL. I made sure that I stayed at home
the day before the interview, I just had to prepare myself emotionally and
during the day God sent the best visitors. Rev Massiah and His wife; I swear
that was God peaking from that day. They prayed and I became at ease. The next
day was the interview, I didn’t want to eat. Didn’t want to interfere with my
nerves. My interview was at 15:30pm, but knowing me (panic freak) I was in
Sandton by 13:00pm hahahah (better be early though). I took a stroll around
Sandton City, I had a very calm feeling while walking around the mall. I was
able to speak to my intuitions (moment of silent). All I can say is, IT WAS ONE
OF THE BEST INTERVIEWS.
January 22, 2016 another email popped “Dear Kgothatso, Thank
you for coming to the CCIP Interview last week. As the next step in the process
we’d like to invite you to come write an English Language Proficiency Test
early in February 2016”. I was very excited at that moment while reading the
email. I read twice, to understand if am I reading the correct things and is
this real hahaha. The Test was on a Friday, at 09:00am; meaning I was out the
house by 06:30 (just so I can be on time, sometimes Traffic can so jealous you
just never know). I was well prepared up ready to write. Everything went well!
After the exam, made three new friends; Kgaogelo, Juliet and Millicent. We had
lunch at McDonalds and it was a breeze to have people that understand your
nerve racking moment with applying. Hahahaha. Funny how we never exchanged
contacts that day, but we kept saying “see you in America” hahahah. Fast
forward to May. After the Test we had to wait for an email in May 2016, that
would say if you are through or not. February-May 2016 was probably the worst
moments of that year. I was confused, I wanted to have positive thoughts but
also had that “what if I don’t go through? But its okay”. I kept it cool!
It was a Wednesday, just before lunch (May 18, 2016). I
received a call from US Embassy Consulate in South Africa (thanks to true caller I was able to see who was calling me), when I saw the call
I wanted to dig a hole and hide. I was very scared to answer. It rang for like
20 seconds, but it really felt long. Here I was eager to find out “Am I in or
not”. I don’t want to lie, waiting for a phone to tell you if you made it or
not (in whatever you applied for) has to one of the scariest moments ever. BACK
TO THE PHONE CALL. “Hello Kgothatso?” “Hello, Yes Speaking”, that moment I lost
my breathe already, I couldn’t handle it anymore. “I am calling from the US Consulate
in Sandton to tell you that you made it through to the Final CCIP Participants
for 2016/17”. I lost it (in my heart though), I asked her to repeat and she
did. Tear drop, streaming down my cheeks. I said “Oh Lord what have I done to
deserve such LOVE”. I sang a song in my heart “ O, mohua wa Molimo ke kwetsa e
kaakang!”, I was just done for the day because I was very speechless. I ran to
tell my colleagues, I wasn’t sure if was I excited or what was happening. I
called my granny and that is where I lost it, she cried on the phone. I called
my family and told them the good news, to start preparing my departure hahaha. Communicated
with my best friend, and everyone who was with me during the preparations of
applying for the program, they truly were the best candidates to push and help
me, I will never stop thanking them. After then, I couldn’t wait to get home
and see my granny. I was so excited for knock off time, HAHAHA felt like I was
walking on air!
When I got home, my granny and I started sing the same song
I sang “O mohua wa Molimo ke kwetsa e kaakang! Na, esale o mphihlela, Ke
maketse feela”, that song has so much meaning especially when you were once
lost in life. Growing up under such a strong, God fearless woman has kept me
alive. We sang till we eventually slept.
It all began with just a simple question “Don’t you want to
study abroad”. The little Faith I lived by during the steps, helped me. Hebrews
11:1 “To have Faith is to be sure of the things we hope for, to be certain of
the things we cannot see”.
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